Why didn't you tell me?
by Enjoyseries
Summary: Drabble from the Masterlist.
**Sorry for all the mistakes, English isn't my native language.**

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She was distant since several days, she wasn't answering his calls or his texts anymore. He started worrying since he knew she could easily put herself into dangerous situations due to her work.

He decided one day to stop in front of her apartment, remaining discreet in his black sedan. He waited 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 1 hour and he finally saw her. The sense of relief in seeing her entering the building that night was replaced by a confused feeling. Why was she ignoring him? He also noticed the features of her face, hard and cold. Something was wrong, he was sure of it. He had to know, the feeling was stronger than him. He fell head over heels with this petite and strong woman, he couldn't help but wanting to protect her at any price -which earned him more crisis than anything else- even if he was certain that she was able to defend herself.

He decided to get out of the car and crossed the street. Unlocking the door of the building entrance was a breeze, he wouldn't have risked being rejected by ringing the intercom, plus it wasn't in his habits either. He was determined to find out what was going on.

When he arrived at her door, he resigned himself to break in. He had still good manners and he wasn't going to break in the apartment of a woman who was currently in it. He waited a few minutes and the door opened.

'What are you doing here, John?' Her voice was cold.

'I was passing by.' He just shrugged his shoulders.

'This is not the right time.' She wanted to close the door but he slammed his hand against it to block it.

'What is wrong with you!?' He slightly raised his voice.

'Fine. What do you want?'

'Let me come in.' She didn't move so he looked at her deeply. She finally took a step behind and let him come.

'Why are you ignoring me?'

'Careful, John. People could think you're getting attached.' She wanted to sound rude but the trembling in her voice betrayed her.

'Don't play this game with me, Zoe.' He paused. 'You can't fool me.' She crossed her arms on her chest, unconscious sign of self-protection, and avoided his look.

'What is going on?' He asked with a soft and raspy voice. It didn't take her that much to feel the tears coming up as she tried not to cry. She put her hand just above her eyes but despite her efforts, she broke down in tears.

It was the first time John saw her like that, she always seemed so strong and confident in front of everyone. He didn't wait any longer and came closer to wrap his arms around her body. She made no resistance and let her be comforted against his chest. Her muffled sobs against his body was the only sound echoing in the room. He placed a hand on the back of her head and tightened his grip, waiting patiently and quietly for her to calm down.

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Sobs eventually calmed down after a while. He arrived in the living room, a glass of water in hand, and handed it before setting next to her on the couch. He barely recognized her; curled up, drawn and tired face, red eyes,… She wasn't the fixer, nor the woman who could run her business with an iron fist. The person in front of him was simply Zoe, her walls down. It was a part of her he'd never seen before.

'I'm sorry.' She said, looking at the glass she was holding in her hands. 'Must look like a madwoman.' She snorted.

'Don't say that.' He said. 'Breaking down doesn't mean you're weak or crazy.' She just offered him a sad smile. He didn't want to push her, but he had to know if her life was in danger.

'Are you in trouble?' He asked. She lifted her head.

'No more than usual, I'd say.' She slightly smirked and made him smile. 'I'm fine, John.' She put her glass on the coffee table.

'Didn't look like _fine_ to me.'

'I just…' She paused and then took a deep breathe, looking at her hands. 'When I was young I met a guy during a party. I didn't know him, but I was drunk and I wanted to have fun, to feel free and cool like any other girl at my age.' She paused. 'Even now, I still don't really remember how things really went but… I got pregnant.' She swallowed hard. 'I got pregnant, and I lost the baby.' John closed his eyes and tightened his jaws. 'I've never told anyone. Even my parents never knew. Only the nurse on the campus of my university was aware, that's how I knew I had a miscarriage. She helped me a lot during this period of my life.' She paused again. 'He, or she would have been twenty years old now.'

He saw tears streaming down her cheeks, so he took her hand in his and held her tight.

'Why didn't you tell me?' He whispered.

'It's a part of my past, John. I hid it in the back of my head and just… moved on.'

'But sometimes the past catches up with us, uh?' She nodded.

'I'm sorry I pushed you away. It's what I do best to protect me.'

'You don't need to protect yourself from me, Zoe.'

'I know.' She whispered almost inaudibly, looking at their entwined hands. He pulled her closer to him, she snuggled in his embrace so he could rested his chin on the top of her head.

'Would you have keep him if you hadn't lost it?'

She waited a bit before answering. 'Sometimes I imagined how my life would have been if I didn't lost it.' She paused. 'It was my baby, I fell in love with him the right second I knew I was pregnant.' Her voice crackled.

'I'm sorry.' John murmured.

'Me too..'

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